Marriage Counselling or Couples Counselling: Is There a Difference?

For most couples in BC, marriage counselling and couples counselling are the same work under two names: two partners meeting with a counsellor to understand the pattern they keep getting stuck in and to change it. You do not need to be married to book either one, and the label on the booking page matters far less than the approach the counsellor uses and how early you start.

That is the short answer. Here is what the difference, where there is one, actually comes down to.

Where the Two Names Come From

“Marriage counselling” is the older term. It dates from a time when most committed couples who sought help were married, and some people still use it for premarital preparation or for couples who have been together a long time.

“Couples counselling” is the broader, more current term. It covers partners who are married, common-law, engaged, dating seriously, living apart, or in a second relationship after a divorce. It also fits 2SLGBTQIA+ couples, for whom “marriage counselling” can sound like it was written for someone else.

Some counsellors draw a line between short, skills-based “counselling” and deeper “therapy.” In practice, the room looks very similar. If you searched for marriage counselling in Nanaimo and landed on a couples counselling page, you are in the right place.

What Actually Happens in Sessions

At The Counselling HUB, couples counselling uses Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT). The work usually moves in three steps:

1. A joint session to map the cycle. What does a typical argument look like, step by step? Who pursues, who withdraws, and what happens next?
2. Individual sessions with each partner. A chance to look at personal triggers and history without having to manage the other person’s reaction in the moment.
3. Joint sessions to practise something different. Slowing down the moments that usually go wrong, and responding to the feeling underneath the complaint rather than the complaint itself.

The counsellor does not take sides or decide who is right. The cycle between you is treated as the problem, which is usually a relief to both partners. If you want a deeper look at the method, our post on emotionally focused couples therapy walks through its stages.

The Question That Matters More: When to Start

The bigger risk is not choosing the wrong label. It is waiting too long. Dr. John Gottman, whose research on couples is widely used by counsellors, has found that “couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help” (The Gottman Institute). Six years is a long time for small hurts to harden into resentment.

It is reasonable to book a first session when:

• The same argument keeps coming back, with different topics but the same ending.
• One of you has started to go quiet to keep the peace.
• You feel more like flatmates than partners.
• A big change is coming or has just happened: a baby, a move, a job loss, an affair, a diagnosis, or children leaving home.
• You are not in crisis but want to protect what you have.

You do not need to be on the edge of separating to deserve support. Starting earlier usually means less to undo.

When Couples Counselling Is Not the Right First Step

Joint sessions are not safe or useful in every situation. If one partner is being hurt, threatened or controlled, bringing both people into the same room can increase the risk. In that case, individual support and safety planning come first. Couples work may also need to wait while one partner addresses active, untreated addiction.

If your partner is not willing to come, you can still start on your own. Working on a relationship alone is a real option, and our relationship issues counselling is set up for exactly that.

Couples Counselling in Nanaimo and Online Across BC

We see couples in person at our office on Wentworth Street in Nanaimo and by secure video anywhere in British Columbia. Couples from Ladysmith, Parksville and Duncan often mix the two, coming in for some sessions and joining from home for others. Couples sessions typically run 60 to 90 minutes. Partners living in Ontario can work with us virtually through our Ontario couples counselling service.

Whether you call it marriage counselling or couples counselling, the first conversation is the same: what is happening between you, and what you would like to be different. You do not need to have the answer worked out before you reach out.

If You Need Support Now

If anyone is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. If you or your partner are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 9-8-8, the Suicide Crisis Helpline, at any hour. If you are experiencing violence in a relationship in BC, VictimLinkBC is available 24/7 by call or text at 1-800-563-0808.

Fact-checked on October 7, 2026 against The Gottman Institute, Timing Is Everything When It Comes to Marriage Counseling, and the Province of British Columbia’s VictimLinkBC page. This article is general information, not clinical advice, and does not establish a counselling relationship.