Online Couples Counselling: How It Works and What It Costs

Online couples counselling is a joint session with a counsellor by secure video, with both partners on screen, usually side by side and sometimes from two different places. It costs the same as an in-person session, and it suits couples with busy schedules, long distances or one partner who would never walk into an office.

This guide covers how a session runs, what it costs in BC and Ontario, how to set up at home, who it suits, and when meeting in person is the better choice.

How an Online Couples Session Works

A session runs much like it would in an office. You and your partner join a secure video link at the booked time, the counsellor checks in with each of you, and the conversation goes from there. Sessions with us are 50 minutes.

Most couples sit together in front of one screen. That keeps the session close to the in-person experience: your counsellor can see how you react to each other, not just what you say.

Some couples join from two places instead, for example when one partner works away, travels often, or the couple is living apart for now. That works too, as long as each of you has a private space and a stable connection.

What the First Few Sessions Cover

Our couples work is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), so the early sessions follow its shape.

The first joint session is about the pattern you both keep getting pulled into. The topic might be money, chores or in-laws, but the loop underneath is often the same: one partner reaches harder, the other pulls away.

Individual sessions often come next, one with each partner, so each of you can talk about your own history and triggers without the other in the room.

Joint sessions after that slow the pattern down while it is happening and practise a different way of talking about what each of you needs.

Nobody is there to pick a winner. The counsellor does not take sides, and the cycle is treated as the problem, not either of you.

What It Costs in BC and Ontario

Couples sessions are $165 for 50 minutes, online or in person, in both provinces. The full list is on the BC fees page and the Ontario fees page. The first step is a free 15-minute consultation.

MSP and OHIP do not cover private couples counselling, but many extended health plans do. A few things to check before you book:

• Whose plan pays. Couples sessions are usually claimed under one partner’s plan. Some plans allow either partner to claim, some only the plan member.
• Which professions are covered. Look for “Registered Clinical Counsellor” or “Registered Social Worker” in BC, and “Registered Psychotherapist” or “Registered Social Worker” in Ontario.
• Your annual limit. Couples work often runs weekly or every two weeks at first, so it helps to know how far your coverage goes.

We offer direct billing for eligible plans and programs, and a receipt after every session.

Setting Up at Home

A little preparation makes a big difference to an online session:

• Find a room with a door. Kids, roommates or family should not be able to hear.
• Sit side by side, not one behind the other. Both faces should be in the frame.
• Use a laptop or tablet on a stand, not a phone held in one hand.
• Mute notifications on every device in the room.
• Leave time after. A walk or a quiet half hour is better than going straight into dinner or a difficult conversation with the kids.

If home is not private, a parked car or a borrowed office can work for one session while you sort out something longer term.

Who Online Couples Counselling Suits

Online sessions tend to work well for:

• couples in different parts of BC or Ontario where no couples counsellor is nearby, such as rural Vancouver Island, the North or smaller Ontario towns
• shift workers and parents who cannot fit in travel time
• partners where one is reluctant to walk into a counselling office
• couples living apart for work or during a separation, who want joint sessions anyway

The research on video couples therapy is still small, but it is encouraging. In a randomized trial of 30 couples, the same six-session couples program delivered by videoconference or face to face showed no difference between groups in the working relationship with the therapist or in relationship satisfaction over time (Kysely and colleagues, 2022).

When In Person Is the Better Choice

Video is not right for every couple. In person, or a different kind of support first, may fit better when:

• either partner feels unsafe or controlled at home. Joint couples sessions are not the right starting point when there is abuse. Individual support comes first.
• active addiction is driving the conflict. Our guide to addiction counselling or rehab explains the options; couples work usually follows once things are steadier.
• you find it hard to stay present on screen, or one of you tends to walk away from the camera when things get tense.

If you live near Nanaimo, you can mix in-person sessions at our Wentworth Street office with online ones.

If your partner is not ready to join at all, you can still start on your own. Our article on going to counselling alone about a relationship explains how that works.

Starting With The Counselling HUB

We offer couples counselling in Nanaimo and online across BC and online couples therapy across Ontario. Sessions are with Jason Bains, MACP, RCC, RP (Qualifying), or Mary Stasiuk, MSW, RSW, who both work with couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Not sure whether you need couples counselling or marriage counselling? Our article on marriage counselling vs couples counselling covers the difference. When you are ready, book a free 15-minute consultation through the contact page.

If You Need Support Now

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. If you are having thoughts of suicide or feel unsafe, call or text 9-8-8, the Suicide Crisis Helpline, at any hour. If you are experiencing abuse in a relationship in BC, VictimLinkBC is available at 1-800-563-0808.

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Source: Kysely A, Bishop B, Kane RT, et al. Couples therapy delivered through videoconferencing: effects on relationship outcomes, mental health and the therapeutic alliance. Frontiers in Psychology, 2022.